First Love
"Have you thought about it?" he anxiously asked.
"Yes," I answered slowly.
I can hear him fidgeting from the other end of the phone. "And?"
After a deep breath, I retorted, "I don't think I can do it. A relationship. Not with you, at least."
"Why not?" he said barely in a whisper.
"Because you represent everything I stand against," I quipped, trying to convince myself. "I cannot risk falling in love with you knowing that the chances of getting hurt far outweighs the chances that I won't."
At this point, I felt like banging my head against the brick wall of room. Voices in my head are ranting -- liar, liar, liar!
"But... but you never know until we try right?"
"Come on, how many girls have you been with? And out of those, how many were you in a relationship with?" was my lame challenge. Could've at least done better than that.
"Fine, you got me," he admitted. "Those were all in the past though. Can't a guy make some changes in his life?"
"Leopards rarely change their spots," I echoed my friends' bolleries during the past few days of my confusion.
"Fuck the leopards!" he exclaimed, his voice a mixture of resentment, anger and desperation. "Don't you get it? The main difference between those girls and you is that I'm falling in love with you."
I snorted. "Hah, yeah. And what would you know about that?"
He sighed.
"Not much. But all I know is that I've been with many girls before... but I want you to be the last."
But I wanted to be your first...
... as you are mine.
"Yes," I answered slowly.
I can hear him fidgeting from the other end of the phone. "And?"
After a deep breath, I retorted, "I don't think I can do it. A relationship. Not with you, at least."
"Why not?" he said barely in a whisper.
"Because you represent everything I stand against," I quipped, trying to convince myself. "I cannot risk falling in love with you knowing that the chances of getting hurt far outweighs the chances that I won't."
At this point, I felt like banging my head against the brick wall of room. Voices in my head are ranting -- liar, liar, liar!
"But... but you never know until we try right?"
"Come on, how many girls have you been with? And out of those, how many were you in a relationship with?" was my lame challenge. Could've at least done better than that.
"Fine, you got me," he admitted. "Those were all in the past though. Can't a guy make some changes in his life?"
"Leopards rarely change their spots," I echoed my friends' bolleries during the past few days of my confusion.
"Fuck the leopards!" he exclaimed, his voice a mixture of resentment, anger and desperation. "Don't you get it? The main difference between those girls and you is that I'm falling in love with you."
I snorted. "Hah, yeah. And what would you know about that?"
He sighed.
"Not much. But all I know is that I've been with many girls before... but I want you to be the last."
But I wanted to be your first...
... as you are mine.
posted by Princess Banter at
11:15 PM
49 Comments:
aww
that is all i got
aww
Aww..that is so sweet...makes me wonder and be depressed about my situation....sigh
lisa
Difficult to call; can a leopard change his spots. I hope it is possible, but if a girl wants to be the first and believes in the concept of waiting; then she should not shatter her conviction by taking a chance. I'll get back to you again when I give it a little more thought. Y:-) Paddy
..maybe it's enough the he be the last.
reminds me of a conversation i had with my 2nd gf...
Beautifully written. Part 2? :)
hmmmmm....
i don't know what to say...u have some will power..i would have said yes in a instant (even if i didnt want to)if i was in love with him too..
*sigh*... that too is all I got.
Ouch - been there in reverse. Life isn't ideal though, and we never get everything the way we want it. If it means you will be happy, go for it!
Update?
1st last, 7th, 9th, 104th ... what does it matter? Its only a number.
If there is any chance of happiness here ... GO FOR IT.
Why does girl always want to be the first; and guys always want to have their last? Ironically, it's actually could be their first true love together, and live happily ever after ... ok, one of those fairy tales chasing after love ... hah, hah ... well, princess? Couldn't agree more with Nora and Aditi. When is sequel coming and awwwwwwwwww ... lol ... ;)
I like that last line. Holds very true for most of us, deep within our heart. We want to be the first.
Nice.
Part 2?
awwwww poor boy, i totally understand his sentiments, u really never knw with whom it works out n with whom it won't.
oh, to have the ability to see into the future, you just never really know what life will bring.
Use your heart and not your head.
Listen, when all is quiet, listen to the right voice.
lovely writing. it has to be a fiction, otherwise I too have to go
awwwwww.....
:)
its probably a case of always hopelessly going for the bad-guy!(no offense to the guy in q..i dont even know him!) but all the best!
Given his experience, at least he is not going to be full of curiosity about others. We can't always be sensible. Sometimes heart must rule.
Loved this post. Thankyou for visiting my blog, & leaving a comment.
You have to go for the chance of bliss!! Just go for it!! Catch the Joy as it Flies!
It may never return...
PS: I thought about it: she should stick to her convictions, and here's a verse from a song I like:
"You've had lots of lovely women
Now you turn your gaze to me
Weighing the beauty & the imperfection
To see if I'm worthy
Like the church
Like a cop
Like a mother - you want to be truthful
Sometimes you turn it on me like a weapon though
& I need your approval
Still I send up my prayer
Wondering who's there to hear
I said, "Send me somebody
Who's strong, and some-what sincere"
Princess,
The 'leopard' was funny. :D
Falling in love does not happen all of a sudden..i believe it is a conscious choice..
Lovely post as usual. Just let yourself go and see what happens - you could be missing out on the man for you. He may have learnt from his mistakes with other women and will know how to behave with you. Just sit back and enjoy the ride and if it doesn't work out, put it down to experience!
:) nice blog...you have a talent for writing you know..
great...and really well written....Last...first...men...women..
Seems like every great man has said something in this regard..Charles Dickens....Oscar wilde....
its fiction right?
its almost impossible to be both the first and lasts of someone without them being eager about other prospects, i think.
last line is awesome...
though i do not know why, but love stories have started giving me goosebumps...
aww...
the fisrt love....i believe is not the last for that person but yes for the couple... course we never forget our fisrt love...i cant!! ^_^
anyway, live the moment!!!
Moving
So well said!
ok this story reminded me again n again what a jerk-magnet I am. Why dun I get guys like that!
Keshi.
Sometimes the fear of getting hurt keeps you from experiencing something great. (and that includes more than love too)
great writin :)
Peace & Love
JeeVY
But can a spot change his leopard ?
FUCK THE LEOPARDS!!
HA HA HA!!
Heavy!! that's rock N roll!!
Cheers!
N
A Story A Day
ITs just a number, who cares... If you feel something for teh guy go wiht it, sort it out as you go along...
People do grow and mature...The leopard analogy, is flawed. The spots change colour as the leopard gets older, the shapes change, the spots are still there but in a different way.
Life's too short to play it safe, and love, too rare. Beautifully written.
beautiful..getting your first love ..nothing could be better than that..oh yeah there is something better than that..the first love last for ever..
wow
it happens in novels, and it happens in real life. consequences have strong influence on us to deny our love. your work can set us all to think deeper.
Ohhh..... :)
That is sweet. But I think love isn't ever how you imagine it to be. And I think some (er, most) people are attracted to something that is a bit aloof.
why has being the 'first' got so much importance ??? That never means that there would never be a second and a third and .. At least wanting to be the last shows that the person knows the difference between the earlier relations and this one ..
leopards hardly change their spots !!! nice quip !!
My 1st still holds a special place in my heart. No matter who I am with,or how much time has passed, I still think of him now and again....It's been 21 years since we broke up, 17 since I have seen him, and I am very much in love right now, with someone else, but.....
If I weren't in realtionship and he phoned me, asked me to try again? Well...he lives 700 miles away, had a baby with my best friend, and is now a grandpa with 5 kids of his own....
I'd be on the plane out.
That's just me, tho. :)
Aaah......nicely written....it is always difficult to pretend when u r in love.
n it does not matter if ur first, if ur sure u wud be the last and u want him to be ur last.
Check Out::
http://loser-in-love.blogspot.com/search/label/Lover-in-Me
my advice stay single save your self alot of heart problems!!!!
if men could be as God intended it would be great.but men are men.they are hunters,that means they are out for the hunt.
they see a new chic and the hunt is on.once the wears are sampled the hunt goes sore and mr hot pants is on his way to new hunting grounds.
stay single tell your really really sure.believe me marriage isnt heaven on earth ever if both of you do happen to be christains.
believe me I been there done that and found Iam better off alone.
the Lord Jesus is the only one who can Love me as I need to be loved.
Have a great weekend and God bless.
Good one... but where is the sequel?
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Wonderful story (like some of the others here, it appears to me too that this is fiction, otherwise I too will have to go ... awwwwww )
Speaking as someone who has just been dumped by the first person I have ever really been in love with...Even as badly as it hurts right now. I honestly dont think I would change any of it.
It was the best two years of my life. I would do it all again in a second even if I knew the outcome would be the same.
Beautiful writing.
Eve is right: "I think love isn't ever how you imagine it to be. And I think some (er, most) people are attracted to something that is a bit aloof."
We are so often in love with the thought of being in love. We ruin the experience by comparing it to an impossible dream.
Being too far down the line in a long list of lovers is a valid concern. But, if just not being the first love is a concern, think of it this way... He's practiced on the others so he can get it right with you.
How do you do it? how do you express the inner truth in so few words and that too so simply and so beautifully? simply great!
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