Friendster or Flingster?
In yesterday's edition of The Straits Times (January 15, 2007), I chanced upon an article written by a certain Jeremy Au Yong entitled "Just Friends? Oh yeah, right."
As I flipped through the pages, my eyes caught the overplayed-yet-still-interesting headline fully expecting another verbose rant about how heartbroken people refuse to give in to their heartbreaker's request of maintaining some sort of friendship while he/she runs off to another bitch/asshole. How I feel towards this subject will be saved for another day... but the fact that I proceeded to read the article must say something about me.
I digress.
As I pored over the article, I can feel my eyebrows furrowing to statements with the likes of:
"Men don't actually think that such a [platonic] relationship is possible."
Oh-kay... not quite what I expected. A very strong statement, don't you reckon? But it's okay, let's keep reading, shall we?
"For any good heterosexual friendship to blossom, guys need a little romantic spark to get it off the ground."
Hmm. Now I'm interested. Regardless it's true or not, I would certainly love to see the argument behind this.
"While that may be taking male shallowness to another level, it's still in the same building."
No big revelation right there, no?
"To a lesser extent, a man's friendship with a woman needs attraction like a car engine needs a spark plug. Once the friendship is going, it doesn't really matter."
And then...
"Yes, men are incapable of having a meaningful friendship with any woman they are not attracted to... at some stage through the years you've known her, you held a torch for her."
And the kicker...
"(Echoing the thoughts of the author's friend)'I don't think I could ever become very good friends with a woman I did not want to sleep with.'"
I don't know if it's me or, was this guy just awarded the "Guy with most sweeping statements ever" plaque? I can just imagine the emails in his inbox hitting an all-time high in terms of volume from girls and guys alike. Admittedly, that took some courage to write... the same kind of courage I never would have.
My instant reaction to the article was a big resounding "Oh no way! That canNOT be for real." Think about it, however. Why not? I'm sure we've watched enough chick flicks to witness the played-to-the-ground plot of the guy best friend blooming into a James Dean incarnate and running after her girl best friend whom he has always been in love with. And because he wasn't up to par to her standards, he settled for her friendship instead.
And maybe it's true that this is possibly man's best kept secret (which the author has painfully revealed to mankind -- or at least to Singapore) because if I were a guy, there is absolutely no way I would admit to a good female friend that I ever liked her, especially if she has a boyfriend that resembles Big Moose. More over, what do I know? After all, men are from Mars and women never really could fathom how the wheels in their brains work. Granted it is 100% true, will guys actually affirm it?
And who knows? Perhaps the concept also applies to women in a more subconscious level. Don't we tend to befriend people whom we have have a general attraction to (may it be from either genders)? Attraction doesn't necessarily equate to physical attributes, right? Stemming from the theory that people tend to attract other who see something special about them (oh I don't know, go back to your Psychology 101 notes or something), in a skewed roundabout way, the article does shed light on a truth that we never really paid any thought to. It's just that it was just tipped to a different angle...
...An angle that never saw before.
I folded the newspaper in such a way that the article would be on top. I grabbed my nearest male colleague and went, "Are you busy?" Without even waiting for an answer, I shoved the paper to his face and demanded, "Read this. I want to know what you think."
Five minutes pass. He sports a cheeky smile and says, "Well, I'm not sure. I think it's more true than it is not."
Blokes!
As I flipped through the pages, my eyes caught the overplayed-yet-still-interesting headline fully expecting another verbose rant about how heartbroken people refuse to give in to their heartbreaker's request of maintaining some sort of friendship while he/she runs off to another bitch/asshole. How I feel towards this subject will be saved for another day... but the fact that I proceeded to read the article must say something about me.
I digress.
As I pored over the article, I can feel my eyebrows furrowing to statements with the likes of:
"Men don't actually think that such a [platonic] relationship is possible."
Oh-kay... not quite what I expected. A very strong statement, don't you reckon? But it's okay, let's keep reading, shall we?
"For any good heterosexual friendship to blossom, guys need a little romantic spark to get it off the ground."
Hmm. Now I'm interested. Regardless it's true or not, I would certainly love to see the argument behind this.
"While that may be taking male shallowness to another level, it's still in the same building."
No big revelation right there, no?
"To a lesser extent, a man's friendship with a woman needs attraction like a car engine needs a spark plug. Once the friendship is going, it doesn't really matter."
And then...
"Yes, men are incapable of having a meaningful friendship with any woman they are not attracted to... at some stage through the years you've known her, you held a torch for her."
And the kicker...
"(Echoing the thoughts of the author's friend)'I don't think I could ever become very good friends with a woman I did not want to sleep with.'"
I don't know if it's me or, was this guy just awarded the "Guy with most sweeping statements ever" plaque? I can just imagine the emails in his inbox hitting an all-time high in terms of volume from girls and guys alike. Admittedly, that took some courage to write... the same kind of courage I never would have.
My instant reaction to the article was a big resounding "Oh no way! That canNOT be for real." Think about it, however. Why not? I'm sure we've watched enough chick flicks to witness the played-to-the-ground plot of the guy best friend blooming into a James Dean incarnate and running after her girl best friend whom he has always been in love with. And because he wasn't up to par to her standards, he settled for her friendship instead.
And maybe it's true that this is possibly man's best kept secret (which the author has painfully revealed to mankind -- or at least to Singapore) because if I were a guy, there is absolutely no way I would admit to a good female friend that I ever liked her, especially if she has a boyfriend that resembles Big Moose. More over, what do I know? After all, men are from Mars and women never really could fathom how the wheels in their brains work. Granted it is 100% true, will guys actually affirm it?
And who knows? Perhaps the concept also applies to women in a more subconscious level. Don't we tend to befriend people whom we have have a general attraction to (may it be from either genders)? Attraction doesn't necessarily equate to physical attributes, right? Stemming from the theory that people tend to attract other who see something special about them (oh I don't know, go back to your Psychology 101 notes or something), in a skewed roundabout way, the article does shed light on a truth that we never really paid any thought to. It's just that it was just tipped to a different angle...
...An angle that never saw before.
I folded the newspaper in such a way that the article would be on top. I grabbed my nearest male colleague and went, "Are you busy?" Without even waiting for an answer, I shoved the paper to his face and demanded, "Read this. I want to know what you think."
Five minutes pass. He sports a cheeky smile and says, "Well, I'm not sure. I think it's more true than it is not."
Blokes!
posted by Princess Banter at
5:37 PM
2 Comments:
well very interesting post.... seems u understand the values of true relationships on earth... i adore your views that u have shared here.. u can sometimes drop by My Friendship Blog as well and let me know if u find it interesting...!!!
We should be attracted in sum way or the other be friends with anyone.. even those of our own gender
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