Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Full Circle Of Life

Though I've always known that there's a reason why my best friend is my best friend, I never fully realized why. Sure, we have the general ties that bind us together -- the musical genre we listen to, the desire to travel the world in all its glory, our choice of clothing color (black), our preference for 'out of the box' and 'non-mainstream' options, and loving our respectively dysfunctional family dynamics. It has been over ten years since that one fateful day that we met. And we have gone through tests of timezone differentials, geography and distance to be confident enough to say that we are definitely stuck with each other in this lifetime (sort of like saying 'I really tried to lose her but the bitch just keeps on coming back!') -- I love you *grin*

However, I only fully understood the reason to our friendship a few weeks ago when we were lazily hanging out in my living room after a shopfest the day earlier. Her feet were propped up on the sofa and she was idly looking at the TV without really watching.

"Mass tomorrow is at 9am. We've to find a way to wake up that early," I reminded her.

"Mmm-hmm," was her lazy response.

"You know," I said. "Not that I say not going to church anymore is wrong, after all, to each their own, but I'm quite glad that you still do. I think it's only because many of the people I know stopped going to church after high school -- after they stopped getting forced to go."

Ah, the products of private Catholic school.

"And quite frankly," I continued. "I don't think I know anyone else who has the same degree of faith as me."

She frowned and looked at me. "Like what do you mean?"

I sat up on the couch and tried to think.

"Well, for one thing, I've always believed that God knows what He's doing and that everything He does has a reason," I said.

"Okay..." she prodded.

"And even though I can't explain why bad things happen to good people, I still believe that He knows what He's doing," I replied. "Like, I believe that God doesn't let us down but why do women get raped, or why do babies die, or why do good people get conned? To date, I've been blessed with so much and I don't want the day to come that something terribly unfortunate would happen to me and test my faith in God. And people will go 'so you still think your God is so great?'"

"Well, the way I see it, people being humans can only fathom up to a certain extent," she replied. "There's this movie that I watched which explained it to me quite well." (she did mention the movie's title but I naturally forgot)

She sat up as well.

"There's this one guy who went to a clairvoyant or something," she started. "The woman told him about the future. She basically said that he will write a book and he will get published. However, the book will be a colossal flop and that no one will buy it. The woman adds that it is important to still write the book, get published and go on with life's motions even though he already knows about his pending failure. Twenty years after he dies, a little boy will pick up this book and he will be greatly inspired by it. The book will inspire him to be a politician and eventually get elected to be the country's president -- all because of the book that flopped."

I raised my eyebrows.

"What I'm getting at here..." she said. "There is a bigger picture out there that is probably too big for us to see. We always say 'look at the bigger picture' but we really don't know how big this bigger picture can be. So everything that happens may have a direct impact in the future no matter how near or far it is. And you know what, God's probably the only one who can understand all this."

I sat there quietly and I could feel the wheels in my head churning with a vengeance.

"Like getting pregnant from rape, for instance," she continued. "I understand why people would want to resort to abortion if they got pregnant through rape. But you never know, a woman might potentially give birth to a scientist that can find the cure for AIDS or something. You just never know."

"So God may have His own sordid way of making things work out?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Perhaps, perhaps not," she said. "But yeah, I also have faith that He knows what He's doing -- whether or not we like His methodology of it."

And with that, she went back to idly watching MTV.

I went to the kitchen to fetch myself a cold glass of water. I think that my friend may have just brought my belief and faith into a full circle.

I didn't want to call it blind faith but I really do believe that everything happens for a reason -- and that there are no accidents whether good or bad. Everything that happens simply set the stage for bigger and better events. And unfortunately, in universal law, in the yin and yang, the good and the bad will always be present somehow.

It only proves that my best friend and I are best friends beyond our black wardrobe collection and the brimming playlists on our iPods -- we share the same philosophies, faith, beliefs and values. I now understand that it is bigger and deeper things that draw us to each other despite the seeming abundance of display of commonalities.

Where I stop running the race... she finishes it off for me.

*goofing around in our hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand*