Saturday, January 26, 2008

Jell-O Shots

Ever observed how Jell-O behaves? You shake the plate that it's on and it just wiggles endlessly without moving an inch. That about sums up how I view my life to be right now -- stuck! Though I am going through the motions of life and it seems to be going right along with me, I feel that I'm not getting anywhere at all. A part of me wants to move, but another part of me just wants to stay put and enjoy the ride (or whatever I can take from it).

All my life I have been trained to always look forward -- to see the bigger picture and to think long-term. And all my life, that's exactly what I have been doing. And it's quite exhausting, not to mention disheartening when things don't go your way. I find that looking far ahead only strains my neck and makes me lose sight of the present in its entirety. How am I supposed to enjoy the future when I can't even enjoy the present?

Imagine a full busy day with back-to-back meetings. You get in one meeting and all you can think of is your next meeting already. Been there, done that and quite frankly, it was a disaster in the making. I certainly wouldn't wish that kind of fate in my life.

I like the plate where my Jell-O is on right now and I certainly enjoy wiggling about in my own time and pace. I just find it incredibly annoying when people tell me to push my plate to a better place because I'm too good for my current position right now. Granted, I could get a better job, I could get better pay, I could earn more and be able to afford the finer things in life -- but I enjoy where I am right now. I enjoy my job albeit the crappy pay, I like the certainty and stability it gives me and I especially like the freedom it gives me to be able to do what I please. And for the first time, I am rather enjoying the present.

Don't get me wrong, I still do worry about the future. I am wary that I'm only a few years shy of turning thirty and I am still vividly conscious of what society expects of me. However, I also worry about falling into cliches and not necessarily enjoying them. I do wonder if there's a proper way to do this because if there is, then I must be missing out big time.

The opposite spectrums of life -- it's either too long or too short. Sometimes it certainly feels like it's too long that taking risks might spell one's own death. I've met people who always choose to take safer decisions and quite honestly, I don't blame them. One irrational act can make a lifetime of about eighty years seem like eight hundred instead. On the other hand, seizing the day makes life seem more worth living. It is risky indeed, but winning it is ever so worth it. It's now or never. All that matters is how badly you want something that makes losing that risk actually worth it.

I think I'll hold on to the plate where my Jell-O lays on for now -- and take whatever I can get from it. It's not so bad after all. I know I run the danger of settling and compromising and underutilizing my "God-given gifts" but, so what? At least there are no regrets for now and I can honestly say that I don't have to drag myself to get out of bed everyday. Now, how many people in this world has that luxury?

After all, the little things in life do matter, no?


Blogger thisisme said...

What a fantastic, thought provoking post. You very much summed up where I am in my life right now, but so much better. Your comment on my post was spot on too - thank you.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Libby said...

oh, this is such a good post! i think something's going around, everybody's getting a little introspective lately. which is really a good thing for us to do! as for your only matters that you're happy with it, as long as you're not hurting anyone else?!? God wants us to be happy!

1:41 PM  
Blogger paddy said...

Yes, it must be the year of change, or truth.

4:14 PM  
Blogger paddy said...

yes the little things do matter, and very few have the luxury, but that doesn't mean you can ignor what is happening in the world, and around you.
Only when all the slaves are free.

4:49 PM  
Blogger Standbymind said...

what a comparison!
Do I smile?
Do I frown?


But they all do matter for sure...

Great writing Ur Highness ;)

8:49 PM  
Blogger Lucid Darkness said...

My mother keeps saying that the key to this lies in achieving a balance. I think she's got it spot on.

While you can't do whatever you please without a thought for the future (as that'll lead to consequences), you can't forget to enjoy the present either. So, Jell-O, it is. I could use some at the moment. :P

PS: Thanks a bunch for the comment you left me. Really. I hope so too. *Hugs*

10:26 PM  
Blogger Still searching said...

People love to tell other people things like "you're too good for this job", or "they don't even pay you as much as you deserve".. mostly this is because they can't stand that someone is happy in the present moment and content (yet not lazy) and so they want to create dissatisfaction in their lives! So don't bother with what people are saying as long as you are meeting your own expectations (and sometimes you shouldn't even worry about that!)

Needless to say, the above "advice" is more for myself than for you, but it helps to spell it out!!

Oh, and I can't even plan 3 months ahead of time, so future to me is like next week!

11:15 PM  
Blogger Friendly nextdoor guy said...

good one!!
thanks for the comments on my post

1:20 AM  
Anonymous Kyla Bea said...

I always find that when people want to talk to me about my potential, their idea of what my potential is matches up almost exactly with what their immediate needs are when I dive a little deeper into the conversation. It's great to have people out there vouching for you, but definitely stay on your own path.

If you're happy, I'm glad to hear you're standing up for be happy!

2:31 AM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

Enjoying the present moment must be one of the rarest things in our busy-busy, rush-here-rush-there Western culture. Don't ever apologise for remembering to stop and 'smell the coffee', or for being happy in what you are doing.

At the end of your life, I can almost guaranteee you won't regret something like not constantly reaching for the pinnacle of your career heights. On the other hand, you may regret not taking time to listen to music, bake a cake, hug a friend, or lie back on the grass and admire the clouds.

Living in the moment doesn't mean ignoring the future, or not improving ourselves (or the world around us). It just means not being blind to all the wonders around us; it means living a life that feels worthwhile whether we die tomorrow or not.

(stepping down awkwardly off my soapbox!)

5:34 AM  
Blogger Kati said...

I certainly think that if you're happy in your current position, even if it's not perfect from everybody else's view, then you should certainly do what feels best for you. May you find peace with your decision.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Ahh, happy new year, Princess. And your two new posts this year have all the promise for a great new year of posts ahead!

About this post: yes it is rare indeed to find a job that you enjoy so much as it seems you do. So don't worry what everyone else says, follow your heart. One day when you think you've had enough of this, you will move on, I'm sure.

2:16 AM  
Blogger fifi said...

well princess, it seems to be the precise time in life to ponder those things. At your age I had this overpowering desire to resolve parts of my life: I got married and had children.
Kaboom went art career and all the stuff I loved the best. Ten years later, I am trying to find my way back.

Becoming a parent changes you in almost every way. I couldn't say whether I made the right decision, but you can never tell what the future may bring. All you can do is try and use your strengths. Just be happy to have both your freedom, and the potential, the possibility to choose what you want.

5:24 AM  
Blogger :-) said...

First of all I don't actually know what a Jell-O Shots and had to google it ... heh, heh ... and going back to the topic, I think it all about risk management. How much you can prepare for changes with whatever you have at this moment. Then again, that just my 2cent worth of thought which I never practice ... ha, ha ... have a fine day ahead ... :)

11:47 AM  
Blogger Ab said...

omg... i think the Good Lord is trying to scream into my ears! so much of stuff over the weekends is asking me to introspect....

i dunno if you read Paulo coelho.. but in one of his books, ghe talks about 'empty spaces'... i think even my life is having a lot of empty spaces.. and so even im not going anywer in terms of solid progress...

and yeah, tiredness is getting to me.. on th bus this morning i was thinking, i need to halt and try to listen to my heart... i think iv been suffocating it for some time no!

12:10 PM  
Blogger Rashi said...

Why I like it cool is; this is so my mind like, my thoughts like...
i liked the description of the dilemma...

the very line/thought- How am I supposed to enjoy the future when I can't even enjoy the present?

...certainly true!
Pleasure reading...

5:41 PM  
Blogger DHIVYA ARASAPPAN said...

The comparison to jello was wonderful- Don't we all feel like that sometimes?? You've summed up a lotta people's current states and confusions well! Good post!

4:36 AM  
Blogger Harshi said...

Hi Princess, it's my first time here. Very thought-provoking post :). You express really well. I read this somewhere...that working tediously for long-term goals can exhaust us in the day-to-day scheme of things...but if we take the time to see the kind of positive impact we are having on people and things around us, and take the time to find our own joy each day, then we have lived a fulfilling and successful day.

Sometimes, the need and urge to 'change' something...starts small and grows big with time I feel. It grows gradually. And you simply know it one-day that you have to DO soemthing about it and take action. The restlessness takes over. That's usually when I make changes :-). (Ofcourse, in some instances, we could miss the boat too, but I see that as just a "happening" - not positive, nor negative.). Not sure if this is the right way or not...but sometimes, and esp. for the big decisions, it is good to sleep over something, than to make sudden changes. Just my personal thought! Hey, I really likes ur life! I am jobless currently :P.

7:08 AM  
Blogger Chaitali said...

Like how you have drawn parallels to a plate of jello - very nice thought. Yep you have pretty much captured what most of us go through at different points in time. Do whatever makes you happy...people always will have their opinions to offer whether needed or not.

2:21 PM  
Blogger MeMyself_n_I said...

i think i really needed something like this. i'm gonna (hopefully) crib a little less n do a little more.

6:27 PM  
Blogger William said...

Jell-o can always have some interesting fruit filling.

6:42 PM  
Blogger exMI said...

Sometimes you have to stop looking ahead and just look around for awhile.

3:52 AM  
Blogger utopia said...

i know exactly how that feels. i had the same feeling sometime back but you know what it just doesn't last for too long and before we know it the wanderlust comes out of nowhere again. :-)

6:24 PM  
Blogger riseoutofme said...

And what does society expect of you?

Presuming that you are a law abiding citizen.

Princess, you are the only judge that matters.

Stay with what YOU want, what YOU love and what YOU desire.

Now is all that matters.

2:32 AM  
Blogger Candid Confessions said...

Oh I so relate to what you are talking about. You have spoken my mind. I have just given up and decided to enjoy the rather relaxed fun lifestyle I am leading and am not letting the fact that everyone is moving on bother me!

4:10 AM  
Blogger Crushed by Ingsoc said...

It's too short in some ways, because we don't live forever- our time is finite.

Then again, it seems like a long life I've had.

4:53 AM  
Blogger the walking man said...

"Don't get me wrong, I still do worry about the future. I am wary that I'm only a few years shy of turning thirty and I am still vividly conscious of what society expects of me..."

if you accomplish what you expect of yourself then the future is already a given.



8:11 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

jello life sounds like jhel-lo life....
i hate changes too!

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Where art thou, princess??

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ലോകമെമ്പാടുമുള്ള 1000കണക്കിന്‌ മലയാളീകളെ കണ്ടെടുക്കുക

നിങ്ങള്‍ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നുവെങ്കില്‍ നമുക്ക് ഒന്നായി ചേര്‍ന്ന് ഒറ്റ സമൂഹമായി ഒരു കുടക്കീഴില്‍ അണിചേര്‍ന്നിടാം. നിങ്ങളുടെ ചിന്തകളും വികാരങ്ങളും പരസ്പരം പങ്കു വയ്ക്കാന്‍ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നുവോ ? ദയവായി ഇവിടെ ക്ലിക് ചെയ്യുക

ഇതിന്‌ ഒപ്പമായി മലയാളീകളുടെ കൂട്ടായ്മയും ഇവിടെ വീക്ഷിക്കാം

4:11 PM  

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