Thursday, November 08, 2007

Bastille

I have never really been one to read and follow horoscopes faithfully. Once in a while I would glance at it to get myself a dollop of amusement -- I can just imagine how many Scorpios there are in the world that's reading the same blurb and trying to fit their daily life into that mold. Don't get me wrong, I don't dispel astrology and psychic powers and such. I do believe that to a certain point, there is some truth and reality to it, and that God indeed has created such gifted people. My skepticism only stems from being realistic and the refusal to seem gullible enough to be taken for a ride. Throwing salt behind one's shoulders has never hurt anyone, yeah? In any case, my religious beliefs go against the concept of fortune-telling and the like -- I love having that excuse whenever my opinion is sought out about it. It's like a quick ticket out of a sticky mess. I'm aware of the differing opinions that people hold about it. Let's just put it this way: I don't believe in it, but I won't get surprised if one day, I discern that it is all real. I like keeping an open mind.

Just the other day, I was reading the profile of a typical Scorpio. It wasn't the first time that I've seen one. I know the basics and yeah, agreeably, some of it are applicable to me but also some traits of Geminis, Leos, Cancers, blah blah blah, you get the point. I refuse to get boxed in a profile just because I was born on a certain date. However, there was one thing that caught my eye whilst reading it. Allegedly, I ultimately seek for independence and freedom in life. True -- can't argue with that, but who doesn't? And then it said "she [a Scorpio woman] will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will love you even more."

I couldn't have said it any better.

I'm not an expert on relationships -- far from it, as a matter of fact. However, I do know that in order for me to stay in one, I do need a fair amount of freedom. I don't ask to be completely independent because I believe in being somewhat attached to your partner as a result of special bonding. I want to feel the beauty of being needed and needing. Emotional dependence can be good as long as it's manageable.

It only dawned on me then that the only way to keep me nearby is to avoid putting a leash on me. I need trust, I need respect and I need freedom. Well, enough space and elbow room, at least. I hate being told what I can do and what I can't do. And I especially hate it when someone acts as if they own me.

I dislike being provoked. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me exactly the opposite. I am notorious for disobeying for the sole purpose of spite. I can be in total agreement with a particular task, but if the method of being asked rubbed me the wrong way, I will drop it like yesterday's lunch. For this reason, I know I will make a horrid secretary or assistant. I demand nothing less than proper respect and consideration. I believe that it is entirely possible for a superior to still command a sub with respect. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against authority and I do not seek for power. I am not the quintessential alpha female that needs to be in control all the time. I can be a fiercely loyal follower to the right master. And I can be a faithful partner to a deserving one.

It took me a while to learn this about myself. I found myself in a serious relationship at a young-ish age and I still had yet to know myself back then. I couldn't understand why I felt purposely deviant and vengeful towards my boyfriend until I realized that I was badly reacting to his attempt of controlling me. We had passionate arguments about how I allegedly never listen to him, and how bad I was at keeping a relationship. This affected me for a long time. I sincerely thought I wasn't ready for a commitment and I even blamed myself largely for the wrinkles in our relationship. And I began doubting myself.

Now that I've grown a tad wiser (or so I'd like to think), I discovered that putting a leash on someone can only drive them further away instead of keeping them closer. Though I may have the tendency to be territorial, selfish and possessive, I would always have to put myself in people's shoes and rethink. If I loathe the feeling of my leash getting shorter and shorter -- or even having a leash in the first place -- what right have I got to do that to others?

I believe that it takes a pretty big person to not need a leash. However, it takes an even bigger person to let go of the leash. The magic will work on itself. The moment we let go, it's pretty surprising how we can gain so much more -- instead of losing something. A little bit of faith is all that is needed.

I'd like to think that this is a universal thing and that it is not something only exclusive to Scorpios. If it is, then by golly, more people would have to mate in February.

20 Comments:

Blogger Zee said...

2 words....so true...

12:47 AM  
Blogger lemonade said...

it is a universal thing.though scorpios and pisceans are so alike..i guess its because we're both water signs!

3:10 AM  
Blogger thisisme said...

I think it is a universal thing - that or it just applies to everyone I know.

Horoscopes are a funny thing aren't they. I read things that are so me in my star sign, but then there is so much that is so wrong.

PS - love the title of this post :)

3:41 AM  
Blogger X. Dell said...

Don't read my comment.

Now that you're sufficiently provoked (hopefully), some have tried to explain horoscopes scientifically. They hypothesize that cosmic rays may have an affect on our DNA, a micro-mutation as it were. Cosmic rays are sub-atomic particles of suns that have gone supernova, this debris is spread throughout the cosmos, and because Earth is part of that cosmos, we get our share. At different times the year, the Earth's position around the sun is different. Thus depending on the season, we get differing brands of cosmic rays.

This theory goes that the ancients weren't advanced enough to know about cosmic rays and DNA. Yet, they were astute enough to notice differences in personality and preference correlating to birthdays.

It's not that I buy the theory. But I thought I would pass it along for you to chew on.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Astraeus said...

The orkut horoscpoe says: u will earn a lot of money today and the place ihad interviewed for a job calls to say they cant hire me!!!!

LOL

3:17 PM  
Blogger riseoutofme said...

Well written Princess!

Not much of a believer in astrology but I do think people of the same elements are attracted to each other.

12:41 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Hmm... well I (a Libra) feel much the same way as you... and I know many girls who would agree with what you've just written.

Sure, I've read my horoscope and had one of those moments where what is written REALLY matches me and moments where what is written really DOESN'T... but either way it's interesting.

Well put.

4:06 AM  
Blogger Lucid Darkness said...

It is universal.
I've found (and I'm talking generally here), that when I am allowed to be responsible for myself and don't have people nagging me or telling me what to do, I am relaxed and make pretty good decisions. This is an observed fact, not the arrogance of a stupid teenager. :P

That metaphorical leash is required only when there are insecurities involved. You can't have any sort of healthy relationsips (not just that of love alone) when you are not given the freedom to be yourself. Restraint is necessary, but it should be self-restraint, right? Not imposed on you by somebody else.


I loved the way you brought out the idea starting out with a word on horoscopes.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Princess Extraordinaire said...

It takes a while (if not a lifetime) to learn fundamental truths about ourselves and how we relate to others - I also find that some of my stereotypical horoscopic traits are true ( pisces) but then again there are off days - like fortune cookies they are only good when they are in relation to what's happening in your life at the moment....

9:56 AM  
Blogger sean said...

Yes, yes, so many charlatans, but as you say there are some real deviners amoung us.
I tend to turn to the I-Ching now and then knowing the frustration I'll have understanding it all and in the end come away only (if I'm lucky) a little the wiser.
------------------
For you/ye I Quote: "I can keep my cool at poker
But I'm a fool when love's at stake
Because I can't conceal emotion
What I'm feeling's always written on my face
There's a gypsy down on Bleecker Street
I went in to see her as a kind of joke
And she lit a candle for my love luck
And eighteen bucks went up in smoke

Sharon I left my man
At a North Dakota junction
And I came out to the "Big Apple" here
To face the dream's malfunction
Love's a repetitious danger
You'd think I'd be accustomed to
Well I do accept the changes
At least better than I used to do"
Thanks- great post!

4:03 PM  
Blogger singleton said...

"The magic will work on itself. The moment we let go, it's pretty surprising how we can gain so much more"

Amen! Amen! Amen!

5:41 PM  
Blogger Jennifer McKenzie said...

I don't know if it's universal. I'll say this though.
I have a pet peeve about these comments on personality based on my birthday.
See, I'm a Virgo. And when I had my chart done, I was a virgo with virgo rising or some such nonsense.
Which means (apparently) I should be WAY uptight and neat and clean and stuff. Oh, and controlling.
I'm really not.
I take all that stuff with a pound of salt.
And relationships are not cut and dried. When one fails, it takes the flaws of both to kill it IMHO.
I love this post, Princess. As always.

11:06 PM  
Blogger Behind Blue Eyes said...

I'm scorpio also, and it all applies to me except for the part about being secretive. I think they are interesting to read because if you look at it outside the fact that it is a horoscope and just look at it as insight into peoples minds it gives you a lot.

since I've gotten older this whole joined-at-the-hip thing is a real turn-off to me. I think it's ridiculous. I guess some people need that...I don't.

11:15 PM  
Blogger William said...

Glad you've settled into your new place. My brother will be moving soon too, the landlords jacked up the rent two-fold. o.O

As for horroscopes... I don't look at 'em. I'm a fickle Libran, so I guess the "stereotype" is true for me at least. :)

9:46 AM  
Anonymous kaylee said...

NICE PEICE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN BUDDY!

I have been so sick lately! in and out of the ER!

11:59 AM  
Blogger Ab said...

yo... i dont think i could hav written anything more about myself... both th leash part and being provoked....

2:22 PM  
Blogger drips of paint said...

faith and letting go .... so true in every aspect of life .....

you are wise & wiser..

5:34 PM  
Blogger Proxima Blue said...

How funny, I was just thinking about these things yesterday!

I know what you mean about the Astrology. I find it interesting, but according to it my husband and I should not be mates, a Saggetarian (fire) and Virgo (earth), but I cannot possibly imagine having a more perfect soulmate. He teaches me temperance so that I can sustain myself and not burn out too quickly.

-P

4:25 AM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Well said!

10:28 AM  
Blogger nasia said...

I am notorious for disobeying for the sole purpose of spite... :) me 2..

i discover abt wats wrong with me every time i am out of a rlnship.. but it all comes bac the moment i am in a new one...

has it ever worked for u.. the letting go.. hav u been able to practise it?

12:58 AM  

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