Thursday, September 13, 2007

Inside My Head

* For those who have dared to join me in my life's journey (of constant banter)

When I started this blog, I had no idea how long I will write on it for. I've had journals, diaries and other blogs -- I started recording my sentiments at the tender age of six. However, it was a habit that I've possessed on and off much like an unpredictable switch. I thought that I only wrote when I was being a tad too emotional or simply bored. I would persistently promise myself that I will make writing a consistent habit -- sort of like committing myself to a marriage and a lifestyle. In my head, I knew that I would break that promise one time or another for whatever reason.

The biggest difference with this blog and the rest that I've had before (including hand-written journals) is you, dear reader. You. Simply you. You keep me going and you keep me inspired. Even when I'm downright exhausted from the daily rituals of everyday life, I push myself to write because I want you to keep me and my thoughts as your companion. It may not be much, but I try to make it as soulful and honest as possible with the hopes that maybe it would be good enough for you to stay.

Admittedly, this has been the most open journal that I've had. I'm quite a private person (mysterious, no, just private) and it takes a lot for me to bare out my mind. It took a few reluctant key strokes on my battered yet trusty laptop to compose pieces that I never thought I would have the cheek to publish even anonymously. They were my private thoughts, mine and mine alone. What business did I have displaying it for the world to see? I felt somewhat narcissistic thinking that anyone at all would be remotely interested in what I had to say. After all, what did I know? I know just as much as the next Tom, Dick and Harry, no?

Then you came along. You started leaving a few words of sweetness just after reading what I wrote and even came back for more helpings afterwards! Oh the joy! They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? I think not. It is when someone like you comes back to see if I have more to say. Surely I have disappointed you somehow one time or another -- maybe because of the lack of posts, or the quality of writing, or the dullness of the topic. I apologize, though it is saddening that we can't always please though we aim for it. I am only glad and eternally thankful that you still haven't lost faith.

For those times when I seem terribly detached and impersonal, I'm sorry. I have never meant it to be so. I truly wish that I be allowed more time for interaction and the exchange of ideas. It has always been my intent to do so, I swear, but I just never have the time. I should put in more effort, I know, but a part of me just wants to keep my regiment of churning out pieces that I thought you may enjoy. Hoping that maybe, it will make up somehow for my negligence.

I started out very cautious about my writing. I didn't want to give out too much and neither did I want to tread of touchy waters. I was so scared that I may seem too opinionated or even arrogant. God, I hope not. Truly, that is the last thing I would want. Gradually, however, I have learned to trust you. I have learned to slowly let loose and allow you to get to know me. I had no idea how good it would feel... like a little baby chick let out of its shell. I simply fear that I may start boring you with the daily accounts of my life. It's difficult to help it though because I pick up inspiration from them... but I promise to keep the mundane bits to a minimum level.

With all this banter, and all that I have written on this blog, I want you to know that it's all for you. I fooled myself for a long time thinking that I was writing for myself... but really, I am writing for you. Because you know me more than anyone else that I know. I never thought it would feel so great to write for someone else other than myself. You keep me going and you keep me alive. And I draw my biggest inspirations from you.

I love hearing your thoughts and your anecdotes. You have no idea how many times I re-read what you have written as your nuggets of life and wisdom is something that I learn from as well. Whenever I hear that 'ping' from my email, I say a silent prayer that it would be you leaving me a few words and telling me that you're still there. I yearn to hear your stories and I long for your thoughts.

Thank you for always being there, dear reader, as you have changed my life in paramount ways. I do hope you roll with the punches with me as I go through a bumpy ride. I invite you to leave me some ideas and thoughts that you may want me to write about. As I said, you are my biggest inspiration. You are my muse -- the best kind that anyone could ever have. I cannot thank you enough.

Ever so sincerely,
Your Princess


Blogger Vik said...

:D don't thank us more, I would start crying :-] Great to see you go on and on, we are ever so eager to see you go - remember the durocell ad

Take it easy then

11:07 PM  
Anonymous electric Bearbearina said...

How does it feel knowing that your blog is a part of people's daily routines? Every morning, right after checking my e-mail, I take a peek at your blog to see if you've added something new. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that. I'm sure a lot of your other readers' daily routines have evolved to include taking a peek at this blog as well. That must indeed be the highest form of flattery - and well deserved, I might add. Cheers!

11:38 PM  
Blogger Kati said...

Awwwwww.... I do enjoy reading what you've written. And, I've been thinking about your last post since reading it, so you're succeeding in making us think about things & contemplate! I'm with ya, though.... I was never able to stick to journaling before this. And it even took me a while to get into blogging. But, reading other people's blogs, and reading their comments on mine, keeps me going. Y'all give me ideas when I get stuck on my own. And I find things almost daily that I want to share, all because of fellow bloggers like yourself. So, THANK YOU!

2:33 AM  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

Your writing is wonderful Princess, it's unique from all the other blogs I read in that it's consistently thought-provoking, and always intelligent and insightful.

Whether it's for you or us, I hope you keep it up!

4:21 AM  
Blogger Still searching said...

Really sweet post! Am glad to have come across your blog as a lot of what you write seems to reflect the kind of person I am, including this very post! Hope you churn out loads of more stuff, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog!

7:16 AM  
Blogger Andrew said...

It must boil down to your blog being interesting and you write well. The best blogs are ones that are more personal than usual. If you want a writing idea, and I think I recall you have already done some writing on the matter, but cross cultural and cross racial relationships fascinate me. Best wishes.

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Januarybitch said...

Am i included??heh heh. I absolutely love your blog: no frills. Which is what i tried doing with mine, but not sure i have been as successful as you have been.
Keep writing!

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Januarybitch said...

Also, i find we are quite similar in many ways :)
Feels good to find someone with similar ideas and attitudes.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous ruby said...

Oh gosh I feel honored to be a muse! Esp for such a great blog!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Aditi said...

u write so well that i look forward to reading it.. each post may be connected to your life but i also find a little bit of me somewhere in there ... its easy to enjoy reading your blog and keep reading it

1:47 PM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Welcome to Web 2.0, Princess, where we interact with a thousand others who we've never met!

But I must say this--- I think it gives us more pleasure to read your blog than it gives to you while you're writing it. It is always such a pleasant read: a mirror of our own thoughts expressed so lucidly! Here's a pat on your back --- way to go!

A little complaint while we're at it, however... I wish you also replied to the comments here. It almost feels like I'm talking to a wall when I don't see a reply... but I know that you read them all. Anyway, keep writing

--- a loyal subject of your blog-dom! :)

1:58 PM  
Blogger nel said...

lol ... Thanking me? I should be thanking you, gal! I myself is learning how to write like you but I have to be honest here, not all your posting is to my taste but then you can't actually keep everybody happy when you are not. Get real, tat's life but there will always be tommorrow if you wish so. Other than that the posters here are great too. Enjoy reading all those reply ... hah ... including myself of course (patting myself on my hairless head)... have a great evening ahead, princess and everybody here in whatever you guys are doing ... ;P

6:52 PM  
Blogger nel said...

oh i forgot ... here goes 'ping' on your mail box again ... you should get a new sound for your mail box of yours ... heh, heh ... ;D

7:02 PM  
Blogger Superficial Gibbering prater said...

Princess' banter is engaging and entertaining.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Irreversibly Screwed said...

awww... that was so sweet... i felt so nice just reading it... like the feeling i get when i check my inbox for a new comment on the blog... it does fee so special... keep up the awesome banter.. tc..

9:02 PM  
Blogger mathew said...


10:15 PM  
Blogger JollyRoger said...

You are on my blogroll and I check your blog daily, because
i read those blogs in which i see a little of myself and feel good about it.

You are most welcome.

1:49 AM  
Blogger jellyhead said...

(joining the long list of fans' comments!)

Since I discovered your blog, I have read every post - even if I don't comment. I enjoy reading about your thoughts and opinions. You never sound arrogant. You sounds like a lovely, smart and sincere person, who writes interesting and incisive posts.

Happy blogging Princess B!

7:46 PM  
Blogger Lucid Darkness said...

It is a wonderful feeling to come across a person who can express her thoughts most exquisitely. Your writing is witty, intelligent and quite far from mundane. It has this strange charm which compels all its readers to keep reading. And of course, your analogies are so well-thought out!

"I started out very cautious about my writing. I didn't want to give out too much and neither did I want to tread of touchy waters. I was so scared that I may seem too opinionated or even arrogant. God, I hope not. Truly, that is the last thing I would want. Gradually, however, I have learned to trust you. I have learned to slowly let loose and allow you to get to know me."
~ Oh the joys of blogging!
I'm so glad to have got to know at least a part of you through what you write.

May the Force be with you ... always. :]

4:06 AM  
Blogger Sling said...

It seriously never occurred to me when I started blogging,that there would be people,total strangers,that would come back more than once...Isn't that just the greatest thing!
Your posts are always well written princess,and while they may seem mundane to you at times,I always enjoy reading them.

6:13 AM  
Anonymous the walker said...

your blog is amongst my regular reads and thats because of all the reasons you have said above. Writing to me is daily ritual but only some of those things get posted online.
Your blog is where you find the simplest things of life inspiring you to go out and smile at the world.
Thank You

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Maverick said...

whenever i read ur posts, i feel like im reading my mind. I mean u say what i've always wanted to say and much more beautifully. Whenever i see someone getting a 'thinking blogger' award or any such thing similar, i always think of u. Ur blog is the one tht makes me think the most

3:04 PM  
Blogger zanas said...

you have a way of delivering your thoughts, and you wrote it with passion. i guess that's what made your work special. thank you for writing and sharing.

5:07 PM  
Blogger meggie said...

Love to read your posts. I find so much inspiration from reading everyone I visit!
Keep up the good work!

6:07 PM  
Blogger Crushed by Ingsoc said...

That is very sweet.

That waas a nice post.
I guess, I'm the same.

I write to get the feedback, really.
To see if I'm on to something.

8:30 PM  
Blogger thisisme said...

I may not always comment, but I always read. I'm always pleased to see that you have posted something new, and I generally leave you until nearly the end, so that I can really savour your words.

8:14 AM  
Blogger nasia said...

My pleasue :),... ahem our pleasure...

10:36 PM  
Blogger Sigma said...

You write very very well. Clear and concise, witty and intellectual, and keep the reader so engrossed. I am glad I "found" your blog, and even though my visits are sporadic (mainly due to my hectic schedule) I really enjoy reading your blog.

12:50 AM  

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